I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
