i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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