oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
What a dumb baby whore.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
