I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
