I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
you didnt know i had herpes?
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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