we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
