Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
