1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize