I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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