after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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