Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Randomize
