your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
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