you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
