hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I am available for nakedness
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
