I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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