A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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