I wish I could punch you in the face.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
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