fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
