on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
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