I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
