I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
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His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
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