Please, let me fuck your mom
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
