i jhust puked up my retainher.
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
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