Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
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