what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
