hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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