great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
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