Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Found your dick twin last night
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
We are all done wearing pants today
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
