That's intense
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
