My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Randomize
