She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize