i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
she told me i tasted like america
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
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