You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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