the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Randomize
