Too much gin, very little bucket
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
