the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
