Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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