I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
