puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
