guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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