If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
