Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
