So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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