Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
that may or may not have been my penis.
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