I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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