Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I want a musical about memes.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
