FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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