Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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