I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
It's never too late to be topless.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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