dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Randomize
