it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
