Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize