I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
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