Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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