yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
