that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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