with your own penis?
Where is the hickey?
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
