i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Randomize
