paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Randomize