Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
I did not marry a roomba.
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