Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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