I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
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