Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
