talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize