Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
