Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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