Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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