like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize