Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
sarcasm needs its own font
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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