and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize